In September 2006, Hatzlacha grocery store in Monsey, NY was caught selling nonkosher (treifa) chicken as from Kiryas Yoel, horrifying the Orthodox Jewish communities worldwide. The chaos that erupted created many factions and extreme responses. To lighten the devastation with some humor, I wrote the following article under an alias, which was published in the Community Connections, Monsey’s largest weekly.
Sept. 7 – 14, ‘06
A new wave of cleaning has unexpectedly been set in motion,
Our Rosh Hashanah preparations are overridden with a Pre-Pesach emotion.
The streets are plastered with posters, with constant updates and news
Intensifying each and every p’sak, informing us on everybody’s views.
The olam is efficiently handling the Erev Yom Tov deeds,
Toiveling & Kashering, running at large through the Monsey/S.V. streets.
Dayanim and Rabanim are being burdened with sheilos, established with the pots & pans,
Followed by the Microwaves, ovens and cutlery, all unloaded from the minivans.
When doing teshuvah, the Chasam Sofer compares it to the korbon pesach, on the same level.
How far are we digging to find one more ‘treif’ dish, one more ‘treifener leffel’?
As we crown Hashem in our Rosh Hashana tefillos this year
We are grateful to have finally been made aware…
Avinu Malkanu, renew for us this year for the good.
Give us a reliable hechsher for our food.
Avinu Malkanu, return us to teshuva because it will be complete.
We have sterilized and decontaminated, it was no easy feat.
Avinu Malkanu, do for us on behalf of those who jump into fire & water for kiddush Hashem.
We have ‘kashered’, we have ‘toivled’ – we are ready for a new year ahead!